Zipps

I thought I had a pretty good life last week. Things are generally turning up favorable for me, and I have not been really unhappy in a looong time. This was before I took my first step inside the Shrine of Spirits known locally as Zipp's Liquors. If you have not been here and you are a drunk like me, you should consider taking one of two steps: End it all now and throw yourself in front of a train or get the hell over to Zipp's. Life is simply not worth living without this place.

I saw booze brands and varieties I had never even imagined existed. I spent about a half hour hunting for Sho-chu, a japanese clear liquor. Finally I gave up and asked, and a nice female drunk (who happened to work there) showed me right to it and pointed out which was best. Grey Goose caught my eye at a steal of a price, as did some nice gin.

Beer. Oh my god. There is an amazing aisle that you might even climax upon entering if you love beer. Hundreds of varieties from scores of micro breweries around the nation, nay world, all in available in single bottles. Grab an empty 6 pack and load that bitch up with a sampling of 6 sweet sweet beers. Plunging into an unknown beer is so much easier if you don't have to commit to an entire 6er if it ends up tasting like dog urine.

All of this amazing selection, great prices, and there is nothing fancy about it. I even saw the girl in front of me buying a 6 pack of PBR tall boys. Now that, my friends, is keeping it real. If you are honestly still sitting here reading this and not in your damn car on the way to zipp's, I hate you and I hope you never read another post of mine.