Kyle Ensley and Me

As I boarded the train this morning on my way to work, I found someone's wallet. Someone's pink Tinkerbell wallet. After rifling through it, I found a receipt with her cell phone number on it and called her up. We agreed to meet at the mall of america after work so I could give it back to her. Well, while waiting at the mall train station, some old guy came up to me and asked me if I was from American Idol. I politely told him to go fuck himself, and proceeded to wait.

After the handoff, I decided to do some shopping. While walking through the mall, 2 more groups of people stopped and asked me if I was on American Idol. Now I was starting to get a little creeped out, having never seen the show, I had no idea what was going on, and why these random jackasses were bothering the fuck out of me. As the evening progressed, I noticed more and more people staring at me as I passed them and some of them even pointing. Well, I got home and looked up who this fuck face impostor could be, and I found him. His Name is Kyle, and here is a video. God damn.