Todays Awful Purchase

I walked on over to target today to get some chips. And slim jims. And pretzel rods. And cream soda. But I digress... I got some barbecue pringles and didn't really pay attention to what I was buying.

Fast forward to 15 minutes later, I am sitting at my desk and eating said chips. Something is not right about these chips, in the flavor department specifically. Well I couldn't quite put my finger on it, until I ate about 25 of them, then it came back in a tide of childhood memories and emotions, triggered by the foul taste in my mouth.....Olestra.

Thats what I was tasting. See, when I was a youngling, merely 12 years old, I participated in a trial market survey for a new type of fat free chip, olestra chips. I went to a quaint grocery store in Eau Claire, Wisconsin one hot august day, and low and behold, free bags of doritos for everyone. Honestly, I was in heaven. I didn't listen to the guy yammering on about potential side effects, nothing short of a rain of gunfire was going to come between my prepubescent ass and free chips.

We all get home, tear into the chips, proceed to eat close to a full bag each, and then the pain set in. Awful gut pain. Awful. Then we all ran to the bathroom in a mad dash of bodily rejection. It affected different people in different ways, and I will leave it at that. Needless to say, the trial market study went pretty poorly and they pulled the product from the shelves before the press could make too big of a deal out of the resulting sicknesses some (25-50% if I recall correctly) people endured as a result of free chip (over)consumption.

Now here I am, 13 years later... And this awful invention of mankind is back on the fucking shelves. I took a photo to prove that I am not a complete moron, and you will see they are clearly labeled "Light", as opposed to "Shit ass chips". Way to ruin my day, pringles.